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Hello grotesken, There are two big concerns for couples starting out in BDSM. You have no idea how times I've been asked "how do we get started" at shows, conventions or even just at the local munch. It is so often asked! First, of course, because BDSM can be dangerous and people that each other don't want to hurt each other, but, moreso is that they want to do it "right" so it has the intended effect. Everyone wants to think of themselves as a great lover and if you have no idea how to do BDSM, it can certainly damage one's ego. Too, he has to get past those years of parental and societal conditioning that say it is wrong to hurt a woman in any way, even if she wants you to. Hence why he won't spank you. It might help him if you take the time to explain, in as much detail as you can, how those spankings make you feel, the fantasies that rush through your mind, the changes in your posture, breathing, heart rate that happen. Be as detailed, wide-ranging and specific as you can. As in any new endeavor, the best place to start is more education or training. You started Blondes wives seeking hot sex couples wants couples in just the right place: reading. Buy books, don't just read online. And, your husband feel far more comfortable with a book he can read on his own, and surprise you later with what he knows. For Dom/mes, start with Grey's Anatomy. It is important to know where things are: for example, nerves not to pinch, blood vessels not to choke off, tendons and ligaments to avoid, etc. But technical knowledge is only a small part of BDSM. The mental/emotional aspect is more important and you both need to understand where those feelings fit in. For reading material, it goes almost without saying that one should read, “The Story of O.” Then, perhaps, “Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism”, then “Erotic Surrender.” These both also have good technical information. If you are feeling brave and would enjoy a heartier read of sexual torment and fantasy, search for "-" and then "-" from the de. Then, go to BDSM events, conventions and parties and learn from seasoned people. Ask questions. Request sample sessions. Most BDSM people are the salt of the earth and be happy to share what they know. More .
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